Snakes and Dango
by Makoto-Koto
Summary: Anko runs out of her favorite food, dango. Normally that isn't a problem. But what happens when all of Konoha runs out? There's only one other person whom she knows to ask... Orochimaru. pure crack XD
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimor thing: Don't own Naruto...and sadly never will... sniffles

Ah, yes.. this is another Anko/Orochimaru fic... though this time... it's crackish...Yup. Pure crack... -.-

My friends helped me write this so yes it may seem as though I am going through many, many mood swings. XD

Enjoy!

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It was a normal day in Konoha.

The birds were chirping "dattebayo" and Tsunade was hanging from the roof of the main Konoha Anbu building. (A nasty result of too much Sake).Everything was as it should be.

Well, not everything…

As Anko awoke from another restless night filled with nightmares of sinister yellow eyes, her stomach growled, complaining for some substance. As she stumbled into the kitchen, fumbling through the food pantry, for her only source of energy; dango, but only to realize, to her horror… there was none! "Nuuuuuu!" Screamed Anko, "Dango!"

Quickly she snagged her clothing form atop the dresser and bolted out the door in search of her precious.

Orochimaru frowned. He and Sasuke had been training all day and yet no progress had been made at all. After a while Sasuke had decided to go back to the sound village. He of course decided to stay. (Sasuke was getting on his nerves anyway). It wasn't that Sauske was annoying in a verbal way, but he was just not what he was looking for. Not like that purple haired- spitfire demon. He smirked.

Mitarashi Anko. Now she had been an interesting one. Always so outgoing, asking the most absurd questions. Come to think of it, it had been a while since he had last seen her, hadn't it? He grinned. "I think it's time to visit an old student."

Random...

Gaara was practicing with Rock Lee… when Kimimaru came… they fought… Gaara won… Kimimarus last words before disappearing in the sand was;you're pretty good." Mean while… Sasuke was living with Orochimaru on Emo Farm. XD

I rushed over to the store…

"Must… have… dango…" Anko said between breaths.

She had almost reached the store when all of a sudden she was stopped… by a giant snake...

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To be continued.

Liked it? Want to shoot me dead?

Please tell me what you think!

Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Anko's breathing stopped for a moment. "It couldn't be," She thought with a hint of eagerness and dismay. "It's one of _his _pets." She gulped and ran a hand through her mildly spiky hair, and observed the beast with a growing dislike.

It had slithered into a giant oak tree. Its slimy tail wrapped around the massive trunk was splattered with blood, apparently from a recent meal.

Its massive head suddenly twitched and rose; its hypnotizing golden eyes slowly, leisurely opened to meet her caramel ones.

"_**What is it that you search for human?"**_

Anko snorted and dug her foot into the ground with a defiant attitude. "Like hell I'd tell you snake guts." Maybe he'd leave her alone if she didn't answer him.

The beast just chuckled eerily and slithered closer to her.

"_**You are looking for dango correct?"**_

She froze. _"Just how did that thing know that? Probably its master knew which meant…"_

A sudden chill shook her body. _"Orochimaru was looking for her…"_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Orochimaru, dashing through the forest trees suddenly sneezed. His sixth sense was telling him to turn back and check on his serpent minion. It was telling him she was there. His thin lips spread into a sinister smirk. He would soon have her in his grasp.

His long tongue swept out to circle his lips. Oh yes, how much fun he would have with her once he was able to wrap his coils around her.

"Anko…" He murmured to the wind. "…You shall be mine."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meanwhile at Emo Farm…

"Gimme my doughnut back you pony-tailed bastard," Shouted a certain Uchiha boy. "…or I'll tear off your banana!"

Kabuto just shook his head ignoring him.

"Now, how many lumps of sugar did he like in his coffee again?"


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews!

Here's chapter three!

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A scene of utter horror was displayed infront of Anko. The serpent had greedily gulped down ten whole cases od dango! The bastard! She gave a hiss and charged at the scaley beast, yelling something about "cravings", and whipped out a kunai. Brown eyes widened as her keen ears picked up no thunk of a blade sinking into flesh, her body instantly jumping back in reflex. She gave an agitated growl at another serpent before, idly twrilling the kunai with his long, pale fingers, poofing the real snake away.

Golden eyes bore into her shocked one's with a serious gaze.

Then the unbelievable happened.

Orochimaru giggled.

All residents of the forest froze in shock. Birds stopped their flight pattern and accidently crashed into trees, foxes dropped their meal, and bears covered their ears.

Anko Mitarashi slowly swaggered towards him, and idea forming. A grin quickly plastered itself over her thin lips.

"Hand over the dango Orochimaru..." She practically purred, a hand tracing across his robe and tangling into his silky hair. "...and I'll make it worth your while..."

((oO))

The serpent gave a soft chuckle and shook his head tugging her closer, a grin of his own upon his face.

He licked her cheek. "...What if I do not want to?"

Anko paused. She hadn't thought about that...

"Then I'll just have to bring out the big guns..." A sly smirk formed as she practically whispered these words into his ear, her breath dacing across his cheek.

But as soon as she was about to do so, her hands trailing along his chest and colar bone,

Uzumaki Naruto appeared in a flash of bright Orange!!

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Meanwhile... back at Sound...

Sasuke hated sweing. Kabuto loved it. And so one fateful day...

Kabuto wanted to finish a dress, but he needed a model...

With an evil smirk he inched towards the groggy Uchiha (still eating his Dattebayo O's) and grasped him into a chokehold. An evil light reflected across his glasses as the Uchiha went limp.

Now... to find the pink and red lace...

He shall create the ultimate French, frilly dress!

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Reviews are highly appreciated! 3


	4. Chapter 4

Na,na,na... I don't own Naruto. -sobs-

Na,na,na...

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"N-Naruto!?" Stammered a now very bright red Anko, her hands still around Orochimaru, an uncomfortable and akward position to be caught in indeed. She shook her head back and forth, quickly yanking her arms off of her ex-sensei, gawking at the grinning fox container who just happened to be dangling a camera inches infront of her twitching face.

"I was just passing by..." Grinned the blonde nin."...and I just happened to see you two..."

Shooting him a death glare she made a lunge for the annoying boy, that is untill she saw a picture of her looking quite... 'chummy' with her sensei. "How the hell!?" She barked just missing the sly fox's throat by a few centimeters when she punched forward in anger. What if Hokage-sama saw this!? Her mind seemed to crash at the possible outcomes. Ikura giving her a strange look everytime they passed by, Jiraiya laughing like the pervet he was every time she went to get a drink, and Kakashi with Gai pointing out the fact that she liked older men.

"Narutooo!" she screamed, first implanting into his face. Then he was gone in a puff of smoke. A clone, her mind realized, cursing inwardly, biting her lip in frustration. Just how the hell was she going to get herself out of this one? The dark and (very annnoying) side of her though was pleased at the idea of being thought of as Orochimaru's 'toy', glad to have some attention for once. _No._

Anko shivered, shaking her head back and forth, turning to look at said bastard who just happened to be coming closer.

"Orochimaru..." She sighed, hand on forehead. "Go away..."

When she noticed that he just quickened his steps towards her, she finally understood just _what_ he wanted,a moment too late; he was upon her fangs gleaming, eyes simmering with amusement and... _oh god... not __**that**_

"Oh... shit..." She cursed, her body being backed into a not so comfortable tree, her legs jerked over his shoulders; caremel eyes widening.

"Oh... shit..."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kabuto was a strange shinobi, he claimed to be able to sense Orochimaru's mood even from miles and miles away... ((oO))

"I see Orochimaru's met up with... 'her'." The medic nin chuckled.

His glasses shimmered as he was grabbing a bottle of orange juice from the fridge. He had a list in hand, things such as milk, eggs, and bread written on it.

He reached over, grabbing a nearby pencil, and began writing. C-O-N-D...

Just as he finished, scrbbling down a reminder, Sasuke barged in, face red from frustration and hours of training.

"When's Orochimaru going to be back!" The Uchiha spat, eyes turning crimson.

"Soon..." Kabuto replied, shrugging on his raincoat, list in hand. "Be sure to not bother him at night for quite some time when he arrives..."

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Me:: I'm doing the girlish thing and writing down what I feel about this chapter.

As you can see, I try not to put detail into things children shouldn't know about, I just suggest things that the older audience would understand. (But considering 'culture' these days... Even kids might know...TT) Gosh. I feel like I've been typing this story forever... There's only one chapter left though, and I'll try to make that one longer than my previous. I'm going to start a new story (an OC story, so yay for random changes in anime plot!) about the 'what if Anko and Orochimaru had a child when she was like illegal?' ideas I have heard, with a few twists and characters of my own. Most of the story will be when Anko's an adult as the chunnin examiner. Her kid(s) oO (Only one's blood. Chill.) entering when our hero's (Naruto,Sasuke, Sakura, etc...) are in it!

-flails- It'll be titled "Konoha Serpent" (Lame title I know) 'cause of the character and setting.

I hope for all my readers to enjoy my next story, and the conclusion of "Snakes and Dango!"


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